I wouldn’t say that I was a bad kid growing up, but I certainly got in my fair share of trouble. There were times when I broke something when no one was looking, or got in a squabble with one of my sisters, but I did everything in my power to build a case that it wasn’t my fault. The shame and pain of getting in trouble when I was young could, at times, be terrifying. So who could blame me for not owning up to my mistakes? One thing we learn early on as a child is to avoid blame at any cost. From the perspective of a child, blame only brings humiliation and punishment and so we develop an unhealthy relationship with our mistakes as adults. We instinctually cling to self preservation anytime a problem occurs forcing us to make poor decisions that usually makes things worse. Multiply this among any team and you’ll find that you have an unhealthy blame culture that tears away at the core values of the company. If this starts to sound familiar to you, then you know what kind of drama can come about when any mistake is made somewhere in the company. It’s everyone else’s fault but mine.
Blame culture is easily found in most companies either across or inside departments. Sales and production love to blame one another when there is an unhappy customer. Finance and operations will play the blame game with one another with a high degree of proficiency when the numbers are falling behind for the quarter. Any time something goes wrong in the department, management points its finger at the team and the team points theirs right back at the manager. It’s a frustrating loop that strains relationships and delays solutions. Although blame is necessary, and possibly healthy in the right environment, it keeps our focus locked in on the past when we need equal or greater effort looking forward to prevention and solutions. It takes an ownership mindset to break the blame cycle to either own fault and/or work towards the solution. But it requires leadership and a culture that has a tolerance for mistakes because if we don’t, we risk stifling emerging leaders. So how can we develop a healthy relationship with mistakes and blame for ourselves and for our teams?
- Lose the shame – Blame and shame go hand in hand (they even rhyme). But shame affects us on a deep level emotionally and it becomes abusive. When a mistake is made, don’t make it personal.
- Performance not person – Mistakes generally occur due to choices, not character. Some choices are admittedly poor, but when we attack someone’s character instead of their performance, they become defensive and reflect very little on their choices.
- Grace is good – Treat offenders with a sense of understanding. I know some blunders can feel unforgivable, but most people have good intentions. Sometimes performance improvement plans may be necessary, but keep people on a path to success.
- Look for the lesson – This isn’t a time for told-ya-so’s, but there is almost always a teachable moment. Find it and use it so everyone can grow.
- Create ownership – Allow people every opportunity to fix whatever problem they may have caused. It may not always be a pleasant experience, but it’s a great opportunity for personal growth.
