I need to get something off my back—literally and figuratively. I’ve dealt with significant lower back pain for most of my life, and it has reached the point where I’m now exploring serious medical intervention. Along that journey, I’ve learned an important lesson about doctors: you don’t truly know what kind of doctor you have until you see how they handle failure. Here’s what I mean. I’ve met with multiple doctors who approached treatment with great confidence. The first conversation is always polished—clear recommendations, strong conviction, and a compelling “sales pitch” for the procedure. That confidence is reassuring, and frankly, it’s what you want. They do disclose that a small percentage of patients don’t respond to treatment, which seems reasonable. Unfortunately, I’ve repeatedly landed in that small percentage. I’m patient and understanding; when a first treatment doesn’t work, I don’t assign blame. Where things get revealing is what happens next.
Twice now, after an initial failure, I’ve been presented with several new options—but without a recommendation. One doctor even insisted that offering options was his recommendation, despite confidently prescribing a single path during our first meeting. That’s when clarity hit. I finally understood who this professional really was. He was comfortable taking ownership when things were going well, but hesitant to do so once uncertainty entered the picture. Accountability evaporated the moment confidence was tested. That distinction is both frustrating and instructive. The same pattern shows up in sales. When things are going well, many people present one version of themselves. But when they encounter resistance, rejection, or failure, their true professional character is revealed. We’ve all seen overly confident salespeople who collapse emotionally after hearing “no.” I recently heard a story about a salesperson who enjoyed prospecting—until a prospect pushed back. Their response? “They’re dead to me.” That’s not resilience; that’s ego protection. Leaders need to pay close attention to how salespeople handle failure, because unresolved reactions to rejection can quietly damage culture, customer relationships, and long-term results. Here are five ways to test your sales team through failure.
- Observe behavior after rejection, not during success – Anyone can look good when deals are closing. Watch what changes when they aren’t.
- Listen for language shifts – Blame, dismissiveness, or emotional withdrawal after a “no” are red flags that require coaching.
- Evaluate accountability under pressure – Do they own outcomes, or do they suddenly become vague and noncommittal when things don’t work?
- Test response to feedback during setbacks – Failure reveals whether someone is coachable or defensive. That distinction matters more than talent.
- Reinforce resilience as a core expectation – Make it clear that persistence, professionalism, and reflection after failure are part of the job—not optional traits.
